Bandit Crab: How (Not) To Social Distance
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Bandit Crab: How (Not) To Social Distance

After twelve weeks of complete isolation I decided to go to the post office to do some urgent returns. (I actually had to send back some clothes I had ordered and never unboxed. Because who needs clothes in a lockdown? Not I, apparently. Apart from a few special occasions, I’ve almost worn the same two…

Sunday Tittle Tattle: We’re Done Here
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Sunday Tittle Tattle: We’re Done Here

I think I need a lawyer. Not because I’ve done anything illegal recently (unless plotting to kill the man who keeps strimming his bushes at night counts. Who the hell strims in the dark? Surely as an activity that presents so many dangers that it makes the whole endeavour entirely unfeasible? Decapitating badgers is one…

Sunday Tittle Tattle: The Workout Innuendo
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Sunday Tittle Tattle: The Workout Innuendo

I’ve (perhaps unwisely) started testing out online exercise videos. There’s a whole other post to be written on the various hazards to be avoided when partaking in Youtube workout classes, but I have a pressing question about the fundamental essence of my being and that is this: do I, Ruth Crilly, have the emotional maturity…

Nippleback
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Nippleback

I finally caved in, after over ten years of owning an iPhone, and bought myself a protective case. Why the prolonged hesitation? I’ll tell you why. I genuinely think that most phone cases are horrendous. They’re like the tech version of Crocs. Plasticky, garish monstrosities that just seem to be needlessly bad. Design abominations. And…

I Fought The Tree And The Tree Won

I Fought The Tree And The Tree Won

I can now add “tree wrestling” to my list of stupid things I do when I’m pre-menstrual. Honestly, it has been a three day marathon of idiotic decisions, irrational reactions and unprovoked breakdowns. Although the tree wrestling episode was pretty bad and saw me screaming, clutching my face and retching into the shrubbery all at the same…

cat in sink
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Sunday Tittle Tattle: Not Fit For Purpose

Please examine Exhibit A above, which is a pretty bog-standard sink. Traditional – some might say boring – in style, but infinitely useful for holding water, which is its primary purpose, or for merely providing a temporary receptacle for water should you find yourself opting for a quick handwash rather than your fill-the-basin-to-the-top ablutions. It’s a simple…