I am loathe to write this particular post about how I stopped my cat from being sick because each of the three times I’ve attempted it, in the past six or so months, my cat has immediately gone and puked. Writing about him not puking seems to be an instant jinx: I put pen to…
I know you’ve all been waiting for contact lens news with bated breath so here’s my update: I went for my second lesson and didn’t do too badly. I have to say that at one point it did feel as though I was in a weird version of the Hunger Games, especially when I was…
Ad: this post is sponsored by Beauty Pie as part of my ongoing partnership. There was a blog post due to come out this week; the title of the draft post was Did A Sexier Power Couple Ever Exist? and it was a six hundred word near-delirious rave about the wonders of Beauty Pie’s Youthbomb Concentrate and…
I fully realise this isn’t the sort of debate that will change the world but it’s a question I’ve been pondering for the last week or so, since the weather has been sub-zero again, and it is this: which is better, frost or snow? People go crazy for snow, don’t they? At least they do…
We’re having another heatwave here in the UK – in September! Honestly, this year must be breaking some kind of hours-of-sunshine record. It feels as though we’ve had the longest summer in history, starting in March and running all the way through into the autumn – we’ll be Trick or Treating wearing shorts and flip-flops…
I’m offline for a couple of weeks after this post – I’m working on something magnificent and it requires my full concentration. I’m sure that you can all survive a fortnight without my ridiculous posts on nipples, orifices and social distancing problems, but as a parting shot to see you through, here I am on…
Here I am, wafting about underneath a canopy of wisteria. It all looks very serene and idyllic, but don’t let appearances fool you! Just out of shot: a cockapoo eating the remains of a small dead bird, a three year-old trying to touch the remains of the aforementioned small dead bird, Mr AMR shouting at…
Let’s take a look at Chanel’s Spring 2020 collection. It all looks so beautiful, especially photographed against the huge booklet they sent along with it – mauves and vibrant sandy corals and pale shimmering champagnes. The colours of a desert as the sun goes down – the collection is called Desert Dream and I think…
PMT has now become a major event in my life every month; for the entire week before my period I really struggle to get anything done at all. I’m confused, fuzzy and I just want to sleep. In PMT week I don’t want to speak at all, I want everyone to go away and leave…
I had what can only be described as a Pumpkin-Heavy Sunday. Never have I said the word “pumpkin” so many times in such a short space of time; never have I seen so many pumpkins in such a short space of time. I’ve never been particularly interested in pumpkins or, for that matter, pumpkin carving – incredibly…
Is there a term for someone who is the very opposite of green-fingered? Who’s more Die-das touch than Midas? Whatever the term is for it, that’s me. I just seem to be very bad with houseplants – I’ve killed orchids, money trees, even cacti! (I really shouldn’t use an exclamation mark there because it makes…
I’m pretty sure that my bifocals are trying to kill me. To give you a little background, I now have to have bifocal lenses in my glasses because I work too much on the computer and look at my iPhone too often (getting the “smartphone chins” to top it all off) and my eyes, which…
Sorry for the radio silence; I’ve been laid up with yet another ailment, this time one of the many unnamed viruses that comes under the “could be flu” umbrella. Oooh, it’s a contentious issue, flu – never say you have flu to someone who has actually had flu. (I have actually had flu in the past, but…
Here’s a list of the things that can seemingly give you cystitis. It’s not exhaustive. 1 Having raucous sex 2 Having mildly enthusiastic sex 3 Not having any sex 4 Wearing cropped jumpers that don’t cover your kidneys 5 Wearing low jeans that don’t cover your kidneys 6 Not wearing a vest 7 Drinking too…
Yesterday I did a bit of sifting through my junk mail folder. I rarely remember to do this but apparently – now and then – you should. I say this because last year I missed four incredibly important emails and each time it created quite an awkward work situation; in two of the cases the…
The internet sensation Grumpy Cat better watch out; I think that Mr Bear could give her a run for her money. I’ve been having a right chuckle at some of his expressions in the pictures below. It’s funny, because he’s always been a very cuddly, affable kind of cat and I’ve been carrying him about like…
Why can kids be so creepy? In particular small ones? And before you question the legitimacy of my inquiry or chastise me for being unkind about children, let me please draw your attention to the following creepy child specimens: Damien from The Omen, the twins from The Shining, the kid from The Sixth Sense. They…
Not that I’m becoming an expert on earplugs or anything (I am) but I have discovered some foam ones with quite a useful feature. The official, technical term for this feature is “slow rebound” but to you and I, it’s “foam that takes a while to bounce back”. I realise how niche this post is…