Just a quick post, because I’m currently trying to watch 50 Shades of Grey on the telly and it’s requiring all of my willpower to maintain eye contact with the screen. It is, quite possibly, one of the worst films that I have ever seen in my life. Boring, non-sexy and with a terrible script. At least with the book you could sort of ignore the bad writing and use your imagination a bit to create some credible characters – this film is just a lost cause!

Anyway, in better news, the baby has started to walk. I think that means she has to now be called The Toddler, which hurts, but hey – she’ll always be the baby to me. (The new baby has already been labelled “The New Baby”, so there’s no confusion there…) Angelica has been tottering about on her willowy little legs for months, and in recent weeks has been starting to make brave moves in the independent direction, lunging from sofa to armchair in a crazy manner, waving her arms and looking very pleased for herself. We’ve had one, two, three steps unaided before, but then today she simply stood up and walked across the room! I was utterly flabbergasted!

Not only can she walk along, happy as Larry, she can also stop, pick up an object, straighten up again and continue on her merry little way. I can’t even do that, in my current beach-ball state. My 16 month-old child is basically more physically able than me. I can barely do up my shoelaces – I need velcro.

I feel as though Angelica has either been practising her walking at night, behind our backs, or that she’s been sort of storing up her knowledge – figuring out how to execute advanced manoeuvres and so on – ready for this grand reveal. How can a baby go from tottering unsteadily along to negotiating floor obstacles and carrying heavy objects in one hand without losing balance? Quite amazing, babies, aren’t they?

There’s a little video of Angelica walking over on the Instagram page for The Uphill – @UphillBaby. The Instagram is a fairly new addition, so please do follow it if you haven’t done so already!

Right. Back to this – quite frankly – appalling sex scene. He’s tickling her with a peacock feather and wearing the most terrible jeans. Oh Jamie Dornan, how could you have thought that this would be a good idea?