I wasn’t at all prepared for this video; I was on an overnight stay at Heckfield Place (lovely new hotel, incidentally) and in the morning decided, with just a smidgen of a hangover, that I’d film myself putting on all of the makeup in my makeup bag. It was an odd little collection that fell out of the sac magique; a potentially catastrophic orange eyeshadow (Topshop), a foundation I hadn’t tested properly yet (Guerlain) and a whole array of eye brushes that were the wrong sort of shape and size for what I wanted to do.

And the contents of my makeup bag weren’t even truly representative of the beauty morsels I’ve been relying on this season, but what is life without a dose of raw spontaneity? What is life without a long-lasting black eye crayon, a trembling hand and no makeup remover to correct the mistakes with?

Had I prepped my video properly, and had my hands not been so shakey and my head not so fuggy, I’m sure that I would have created some sort of smoked-eye masterpiece, complete with cut crease (don’t even know what that is but it sounds good), ombré lip and the kind of chiselled contouring that would make Kim Kardashian weep. Alas, the red wine the previous night had been too delicious to decline and so I ended up looking a bit like an incredibly tame version of Alice Cooper.

Click play on the video screen to see a mini review of Clinique’s Even Better Refresh foundation and Guerlain’s new l’Essentiel foundation, a little demo of the Charlotte Tilbury Dreamgasm eye palette and a rave about a face brush that no longer seems to exist. Which is both fortunate and unfortunate because it’s an excellent brush but also happens to cost more than a trip to the Maldives.

Products are listed below the video screen, should you wish to cheat/deny yourself the pleasure of my huskier-than-usual voice.

Headband is from Silken Favours: https://silkenfavours.com/shop/accessories/natures-candy-printed-silk-twill-headband/

Guerlain L’Essential Foundation in 02N*: http://bit.ly/2HgRuIO

Clinique Even Better Refresh Foundation in CN28*: http://bit.ly/2HcyniP

Guerlain Terracotta Light (in light cool)*: http://bit.ly/2VrUdss

Suqqu Face Brush: https://www.suqqu.com/en/product/tools/face_brush/

Chanel Baume Essentiel in “sculpting”*: http://bit.ly/2H97xrY

Topshop Glow Pot in Polished*: http://bit.ly/2VqRdwx

Charlotte Tilbury Dreamgasm Palette*: http://bit.ly/2H9sOBP

Charlotte Tilbury Vintage Vamp Palette*: http://bit.ly/2HdVDwQ

Dior Pump n Glow Mascara*: https://rstyle.me/+YmS1g6blaWtCPPHqHLlSIg

Marc Jacobs Highliner in Blacquer*: http://bit.ly/2H4FklS

Benefit Gimme Brow Shade 1*: http://bit.ly/2H98FMe

Topshop Lip Liner in Outline*: http://bit.ly/2VphUlj

Topshop Blush in Gamechanger*: http://bit.ly/2HeBWFl

Dior Lipstick in Sensual Matte*: http://bit.ly/2VnoCZb