Let us all take a moment just to admire my new tracksuit. Yes, tracksuit. I’m not even wearing it ironically – I have turned into a proper, 100% genuine, house-slob. I was drawn to this particular Adidas ‘number’ when I saw it on a mannequin in JD Sports (please don’t make the mistake of assuming that I visit JD on a regular basis – I don’t. I was returning something.) It was the only one left, and I stood and waited whilst a team of disgruntled employees took apart the plastic dummy, almost side-swiping my face with one of its arms! This tracksuit should have been £110 – YES, £110! My how things have changed since I last purchased a tracksuit, which was in….er….1988. In fact, it wouldn’t have been me who even purchased it, it would have been my mum! (It was a shell suit. Turquoise, pink and navy. Ah, those were the days.) Tracksuits surely shouldn’t be priced at more than £30?

Anyway, I’m very much enjoying padding about in the new trackie (an apparent ‘steal’, according to the sales assistant, at £55) and my cashmere slippers. Mr AMR wants me to give myself a ‘Croydon Facelift’ to complete the look, but he’ll have to wait. There are only so many fashion faux pas one can achieve in a day!

In defence of my ‘trackie’, though, I do quite like the bottoms – they look a bit like ballet warm-up pants. They are supremely comfortable. But then so’s a sack, I suppose, or a duvet cover. I’m only one step away from that, I tell you..