Do you want to know what I wear to bed these days? I'm going to tell you anyway, so you may as well say yes. Don't worry, it's nothing that's going to make you blush or feel awkward about life if we suddenly bump into each other outside Tottenham Court Road station -...
My Mum was horrified when I showed her my newly acquired Finishing Touch Facial Hair Remover. "You can't shave your face!" she cried. "Why can't you just use nail scissors like everyone else?" Pause for effect. Can we please get a show of hands from anyone - anyone at...
Did you know that bees in a hive have this thing called swarm mentality, or hive mind, which is this amazing sort of collective thought that happens when you get lots of social insects (ants, bees) together in a colony? I'm no Attenborough, but I've been Googling this...
Just wondering if anyone can help me out with this email I've just had - I've obviously managed to get myself into a bit of a pickle. Not for the first time, I should add. Every time I sift through my junk mail I'm being blackmailed for one thing or another! "In case...
There's a mole catcher who's well known around these parts of Somerset and he has the most amazing advert printed on the back of his van. I'd never managed to get a photo of it before, but the other day he happened to be in front of us and so I summoned up all of my...
Last week I found myself unexpectedly perving over King Triton's torso whilst watching The Little Mermaid II with my kids. Which was something of a surprise, even to myself. A cartoon character - who knew? As he waggled his way into shot, I was taken aback by the...
I was going to order some little vintage side tables last week but the delivery time, from the Netherlands, was estimated at 4-5 weeks. Considering that the tables are already made - they are secondhand - what in heaven's name mode of transport could possible take 4-5...
After twelve weeks of complete isolation I decided to go to the post office to do some urgent returns. (I actually had to send back some clothes I had ordered and never unboxed. Because who needs clothes in a lockdown? Not I, apparently. Apart from a few special...
My children (three and a bit years old and almost five) have been learning to ride their bikes and it is at once a massively rewarding experience and a very new, very fresh hell. On the one hand, seeing them learn a new skill and become fully-functioning mini-people...
I think I need a lawyer. Not because I've done anything illegal recently (unless plotting to kill the man who keeps strimming his bushes at night counts. Who the hell strims in the dark? Surely as an activity that presents so many dangers that it makes the whole...
Four times in the past week my children, who are almost-five and three years old, have unknowingly grabbed onto one of my nipples to stop themselves toppling over. 75% of the time it has been when I've been putting their shoes on, which is always a precarious sport -...
I've (perhaps unwisely) started testing out online exercise videos. There's a whole other post to be written on the various hazards to be avoided when partaking in Youtube workout classes, but I have a pressing question about the fundamental essence of my being and...
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