How Not To Be A Supermodel

by | May 9, 2024

It’s the moment you’ve all been waiting for*: my first ever book, How Not To Be A Supermodel, is available for pre-order! Here!

An actual book that you will be able to hold in your hands. Or, if you prefer my dulcet tones, listen to with your ears. You’ve loved my revealing life updates, over the years, and you’ve diligently read through my farcical tales of woe (remember when I almost accidentally penetrated myself with a bath tap?): now it’s time to let me take you all the way back to 2001, when I was a mere slip of a thing, leaving my law degree to become an instantly rich and famous supermodel.

You could call How Not To Be A Supermodel a memoir, because I wrote it about myself and my memories and the experiences I had as a fashion model in the noughties, but my God that makes it sound very serious. “Memoir” makes it sound as though I wrote my book in the 1800s. In the drawing room, whilst mother did her needlepoint and Eliza practised on the pianoforte.

And let me ask you this: would a memoir, to your mind, include a story about accidentally going on a luxury five-day holiday with a man you didn’t know? Would a memoir typically have a chapter called Body Like a Turgid Penis? Or – hold on a second while I rustle through my notes – I’m Drunk and I’m Not Wearing Knickers? No it would not.

So yes, I wrote it about me and yes, it’s set in the past, but don’t make the mistake of thinking that any painful soul-searching went into this book. Let’s not get the wrong end of the stick, here. I didn’t write it whilst sobbing periodically into a starched linen kerchief, dabbing my eyes when it got to the unbearable bits: this is a rip-roaring riot of a ride through a decade of the improbable scenarios and shocking events that life as a non-supermodel threw up, and it is chaotic and blundering and funny and frequently ridiculous.

Pre-order How Not To Be A Supermodel

OK, there are poignant moments. Of course there are. In fact I was specifically told, when I got the book deal, that I had to include the bits that would create something of a talking point. (As if me inadvertently becoming involved in an impromptu sex show or almost falling into shark-infested waters wasn’t enough of a talking point.) And so yes, I have put in the difficult bits as well as all of the parts that will potentially have you spitting out your coffee and embarrassing yourself on public transport.

But mostly this is a snort-inducing, highly accurate** account of all the ways in which I failed to become a supermodel. My apparent physical shortcomings, my personality defects and my impressive ability to attract chaos and disaster in almost any situation.

You can pre-order How Not To Be A Supermodel now – the release date is 29th August. It has already been heralded as THE ONLY BOOK YOU NEED TO READ THIS YEAR!*** and so I think it’s a pretty safe bet that you’ll love it. Pre-orders really matter, apparently, and so if you only ever click on one link I post then please make it this one. I’ll be forever in your debt.

Pre-order your copy of How Not To Be A Supermodel here

I’ll be back with more posts about the book and about the process of writing it because it has honestly been the best, most satisfying thing I’ve ever done in my adult life. If you’ve followed me for a while then you’ll know that writing was what I had started to do at the end of my modelling career; blogging was a very happy accident that took off into something great and I have a brilliant and rewarding career in social media because of it, but I’ve been hounding a book deal for a very long time****. It’s a proper “full circle” moment for me.

*with any luck
**as accurate as possible. Mostly accurate. Somewhat accurate.
***I was forced to provide this quote myself, because it’s too early to get one off another writer yet. I tried to keep it subtle and classy.
****honestly, the number of people I had to sleep with.


  1. Pre-ordered! I’ve been following your hilarious stories for years, and I’m thrilled you’ve finally written a book. The title alone is enough to make me laugh out loud. I can’t wait to hear about the ridiculous situations you got yourself into (and out of!).

    “Body Like a Turgid Penis” and “I’m Drunk and I’m Not Wearing Knickers” – sign me up! This is definitely not your average memoir, and I’m here for it.

    Congrats on the book deal and fulfilling your dream of becoming an author. I’ll be eagerly awaiting the release date in August!

  2. I will make sure to keep my tea out of reach when reading, you manage to make me laugh with your blog posts, so I can only imagine the fun your book will be.

  3. Torn between listening to your “dulcet tones” or chucking snorting and killing my self laughing into the actual book – both would be first prize -One for the car / public transport -air pods – and one strewn casually about at home . So thrilled for you you really are TBE

      • Ruth – be careful with the cortizone cream you bought in America. Search for “Topical Steroid Withdrawl”. Topical steroids are strong and rashes come back more painful in time.

        • That’s why I only used it once. x

    • I rarely preorder hard back books, I just wait until they cost tuppence on the reduced shelf in the supermarket This one was preordered immediately, it can only be a goodun, a spectacular success, can’t wait

      • Thank you so much, that’s so kind! x

  4. I absolutely love the tone and humor in this blog post by Ruth Crilly about her upcoming book, “How Not To Be A Supermodel.” Her candid and self-deprecating style is incredibly relatable and engaging. The way she describes the book as a rip-roaring riot through a decade of improbable scenarios and shocking events is sure to capture the reader’s attention.

    I appreciate how Ruth isn’t taking herself too seriously, even though she’s delving into some poignant moments in her past. The mix of humor and sincerity seems like a winning combination for a memoir, and I can’t wait to read about all the chaotic and blundering moments of her life as a non-supermodel.

    I also love how Ruth emphasizes the importance of pre-orders and encourages readers to support her. It’s clear that she’s poured her heart and soul into this book, and I’m excited to see the final product when it’s released on August 29th.

    If you enjoy a good laugh and a dose of reality mixed with a touch of absurdity, I highly recommend pre-ordering a copy of “How Not To Be A Supermodel.” And don’t forget to visit for more content from Ruth Crilly. This book promises to be a must-read this year, so don’t miss out on the hilarity and honesty that Ruth has to offer in her memoir.


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