Ruth Tries Trends: Leggings Worn As Trousers

by | Apr 30, 2019

leggings as trousers

This trend is just an epic no-no for me, right from the start, but now that it is apparently acceptable to wear leggings as proper, meet-the-public outerwear, I have to give it a try. It’s the law.

Why on earth anyone would want to expose their lycra-encased lower half to all and sundry, in normal everyday situations, I have no idea. But it’s happening. All over town (and country) I see people doing everyday things – like filling their cars with petrol and picking up satsumas from the supermarket – wearing leggings as outerwear.

It’s like my worst recurring nightmare; realising that I’m in a public place and that I’m basically naked from the waist down. Because in leggings, you’re pretty close to naked, aren’t you? I mean there’s nowhere to hide when you’re in leggings – or “workout tights” – not only do they cling to every peak and trough, the gusset seam always like to try and do a disappearing act up the nearest handy and willing crevice.

leggings as trousers

To me, walking about in leggings-as-outwear (and by this I mean with bottom and front bottom regions fully on display, not covered by tunic or long t-shirt) is akin to waking up on a busy street and realising you’re in a swimsuit that’s too short in the body, and that you have great thackets of pube poking out on either side of your gusset and that your erect nipples are badly misaligned. (At pilates the other day I realised that one nipple had become trapped “up high” and the other one had been squashed “down low” so that it looked as though I’d randomly dropped two M&Ms down my top. There must have been a three or four inch height discrepancy.)

Why is there a sudden need to parade our lycra-clad pudendas? Display to the world our exact – to really quite an astounding degree of detail – gynaecological anatomy? It is all beyond me, yet I went out – for research purposes – into the big wide world, wearing just workout leggings on my bottom half, to see what all of the fuss was about. Would the comfiness of the leggings (not as comfy as tracksuit bottoms so already they’re losing) override my innate fear of being, to all intents and purposes, semi-nude in public?

I’ll admit I’m biased on this one. Because I find it bad enough wearing leggings in the gym – one downward dog, or whatever it’s called, and anyone behind you can pretty much ascertain whether you’ve a) had children yet, b) had third degree tears giving birth and c) how well the surgeon did the stitches. Not to be crude (OK, it’s crude) but if you’re wearing leggings – or exercise tights – then the people you’re stretching in front of are probably getting to see, more freely and in better lighting, much more of your genitalia than any of your sexual partners have ever enjoyed.

All that’s between them and your lady bits and all-humans-bit is a thin piece of breathable fabric that – due to its sheen – actually serves to accentuate various contours rather than conceal them from view. As the observer, all you need do is squint and add a few curly bits of hair (or not) and you can just about visualise the real deal.

leggings as trousers

Not that I spend my time doing that, I hasten to add – fellow exercisers of Somerset, you are safe with me! – it’s just that I’ve been giving this a lot of thought. Perhaps I’m becoming more prudish with age, maybe I need to get with the times and praise the vagina (VULVA!) and be #grateful that we are in a place and era where we can be free with our bodies and worship them for all of the great things they have done for us, etc etc, add more Insta-clichés at will, or maybe I just need to grow up. But that’s never going to happen…

Now look, I’m not a total tool – I realise that showcasing the old creasey/wrinkly parts when you’re in the exercise zone is part and parcel of the experience. It’s like swimming pools and beaches, you’re all in the same boat and there’s a general acceptance of attire and the knowledge that you’re going to probably see more than a few man sausages tightly ensconced in budgie smugglers…

…sometimes really close to your face, because you pull yourself out of the pool right into the lap of an older gentleman who’s sitting on the edge, about to get in. (The real reason I haven’t gone swimming in a public pool for about ten years.)

Where was I? Totally distracted by that particular memory. Nothing like a chlorine-scented packet in your face. I think I also might have briefly laid my head in his lap too, because I had to do a weird about-turn and I’m not particularly great at swimming or manoeuvring myself in water. I may have panicked. It’s possible that I almost drowned trying to get away at speed and swallowing vast volumes of pool water.

leggings as trousers

Anyway, yes I do realise that certain scenarios (exercise, cyclists’ nights out, Club 18-30 parties) involve the mandatory sheathing of body parts in elastane-rich fabrics, it’s the public wearing of these items, the voluntary donning of leggings in non-exercise-related pursuits, that confuses me.

So leggings as outwear then – how did I get on with exposing my tightly sheathed flesh mounds to the public? I have to be honest here: I only just made it through the car park at Babington House, which is where I do my gym classes. (Lucky me, I know, but it’s my nearest anything, including place to eat, drinking hole, swimming pool.) (Not that I’m trying to justify going to a chi-chi luxury resort for my pilates class, but I don’t want to sound as though I’m name-dropping. I just feel the need to mention that it’s Babington House because there’s a certain risk factor with it that you wouldn’t get with most other car parks. The chance that the Beckhams might be sauntering through the wooded grounds, for example, or that a mega-famous rockstar (can’t name names, apparently it’s all sacred and secret – I just guessed at the Beckhams so that’s allowed) might be parking his battered old Landrover.

Anyway, I crossed the car park feeling for all the world like someone who had forgotten to put trousers on, which in effect, I had, and VERY aware that I was showing my entire arse like a randy baboon. And I was also very aware of the people getting in and out of their vehicles all around me. I don’t know which was worse; the mother shielding the baby’s eyes with a gasp of horror as I scuttled by – “it’s OK Jeremiah, the lady is unwell!” – or the rather dishy man in the Porsche who quite literally hurled himself back into his car from his half-ejected position lest we cross paths.

I was like a giant tadpole in my shiny black leggings; my bottom being the bulk of the ‘pole and my legs the tail. Inexplicably, the designer of said leggings (they’re not the ones pictured, by the way) had decided to put three faux-zips onto the hip area – two at the front, one on the left cheek. Why have zipped pockets anyway, on fitness leggings – what are you going to keep in there, your aura? the key to the meaning of life? – but more to the point, why have zipped pockets that don’t actually function as pockets? Therefore are just zips sewn into the fabric? Utterly bizarre.

leggings as trousers

The zips just served to emphasise how unsuitable the leggings were as outerwear – there was no front pocket for my small change, no back pocket for temporary iPhone storage. I could feel an actual breeze in my private places as I hurried along, my thighs made a strange shusshing sound as the slinky fabric chaffed back and forth and – weirdly – in all of my embarrassed panic I forgot how to walk in a properly upright position. Knowing that my bottom was on full show, I tried to pull it inwards, but then it felt as though I was walking too straight, like John Cleese, so I went the other way but overcompensated, hunching forwards and possibly looking like someone who had lost all control of their faculties.

So my verdict on this trend is: I wouldn’t. Leggings, for me, are for the indoors, or they are for scenarios when everyone else is wearing leggings. Legging conventions, gyms, legging fetish groups. In most other places, it’s just too much information. Maybe I’m being old and fuddy duddy about this, but I just don’t want to see other people’s vulvas when I’m trying to get to the last tin of Kidney Beans on the bottom shelf at Sainsbury’s.

Actually maybe it is an age thing. I’m pretty sure I wouldn’t have even thought about leggings fifteen years ago – and I once wore a leotard over tights (with thigh high S&M boots) to a respectable fancy dress party (I was Barbarella) so I can’t really talk. Nevertheless: discuss. Leggings as trousers – with bottom area fully exposed – yes or no? Acceptable or a trend gone bad?

80 Comments

  1. I whole heartedly agree!!! And I don’t think it’s an age thing – I’m 25 and have never worn leggings with a too long enough to cover everything! Also – is it worse when people where them with “granny pants” that you can see through the leggings, or something much smaller so you can see EVERYTHING? I can just never decide what the appropriate underwear is to wear with leggings!

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  2. Some stylists think these bottoms are not for the streets. It should remain in the sports, dance classes, in other words it’s inappropriate for ladies to substitute this staple for any kind of pants.

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  3. And another thing… thank you for knowing the difference between vagina and vulva!

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  4. Just discovered you and adore you already.
    In Oz, it’s leggings leggings leggings EVERYWHERE. Target even has pants called TREGGINGS (trouser+leggings). They are utterly vile.
    Why do young Australian women think leggings are acceptable everywhere, but particularly on planes?
    There is also a terrible and repulsive trend of young Scandinavian backpackers thinking it’s acceptable waitress wear in cafe. All very well when you are lsafely tucked behind a counter but not so nice when said rear is stretched across a table giving it a wipedown.
    When I can clearly see the outline of pudenda, I know society is going to the dogs.

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    • thanks..

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  5. Another mid-west American opinion: I, unabashedly, vote NO to leggings worn alone! Yikes and yuck come to mind. The “style” is everywhere, though, and it is not just worn by the thin and toned. I feel sorry for my husband, son, and every man out there who has to quickly look away or witness the display of genitalia bound by tight leggings. By the way, I love your sense of humor and writing style! Waiting for a book!

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  6. You are the best. Leggings are not pants!!

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  7. I see quite a few very young women wearing this and looking very nice (with, for example, a short cabled jumper- a bit of an off-duty-ballet-dancer/ kid-from-Fame type look). I find the concept of dance-athleisure (“balleisure”? There has to be a word) quite appealing (warm-up tops, swishy skirts, leggings, legwarmers (be still my beating heart)).

    However, when I wear leggings without a long top, I become really conscious of the prominence of my front bottom (apparently people who make their own jeans can adjust the fit for such things). That’s another figure hangup I don’t need- I’ll stick with people mistakenly thinking I’m pregnant, thanks…

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  8. #grateful

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  9. Actually, I think you look absolutely gorgeous in leggings. If you wear skinnies, why not leggings?

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  10. I honestly think it depends on the legging! I wouldn’t wear gym style ones out evvver! I have got a couple of pairs of THICK fabric ones for work though which look as though they’re just slim fit trousers, but they’re stretchy! Definitely no crotch details on view!!

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  11. It’s the nude coloured leggings that get me, or the people who wear leggings so thin you can see arse flesh *shudders* – do these people not check the mirror before they go out in a ‘oh my god I can see my bum through my leggings, I best change quick!’ ?

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  12. You’re very shy about your foof for someone who’s had two babies!

    I live in a village besieged by male cyclists wearing Lycra shorts so tight I can tell if they’re circumcised or not, so leggings don’t even register for me. Your post did cross my mind as I was in Happy Baby pose at yoga though.

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    • Not shy about my own, just don’t want to see everyone else’s! : )

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  13. Dear Ruth – I love all of your posts, and this one is just another one that makes me think that I’m your Mid-Western American sister from another mother! My coffee just about exited from my nose while I read this, the timing of which is so darn perfect! On the ride home from this mornings very challenging yoga class, my husband was actually the one having a full on issue with women wearing their leggings out and about…in his most humble opinion, it is better to imagine a backside then to actually see it in it’s lycra glory whether it’s smooth and firm or dimpled and lumpy. We both did admit it may be an age thing for us as well, but there is definitely a time and place and if you don’t need to perform an unencumbered Downward Facing Dog at the grocery, then for goodness sake, put on some trousers! Much love from rainy cold Wisconsin!

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    • Haha, thank you Sookee and husband! x

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  14. It’s a no from me. Long tops or dresses are required. Also, if your knickers are visible through the sheer fabric you should be charged with indecent exposure. It’s especially disturbing when young teenagers do it.

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  15. Oh Ruth ! When are you going to write a book ? Your writing is so entertaining. Smart and funny !
    And I agree ! 100%.

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  16. I laughed out loud in the office reading this whilst on lunch and got some funny looks. Oh my god, finally the voice of reason, I thought it was just me that felt like this about leggings with front and back bottom exposed, it’s like you’ve put your tights on but have forgotten to add the skirt before you left the house (some leggings are so thin that they literally are like tights)?!
    I’m all for people wearing what makes them feel comfortable but there’s something a bit too “on display” about wearing them with a shorter top, or horror of horrors, a crop top. I still can’t get used to the idea that cycling shorts tried to come back as acceptable everyday wear for the same reasons! I stand with you Ruth, long tops/tunics/dresses over the top perhaps, short tops with leggings no!

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  17. See-through leggings are a hard no-go, whether in public or the gym. Most women I know (myself included!) wear leggings made of a thicker/opaque fabric, usually black and sans “air holes,” out in public, and I think that’s fine. Yes, a bystander can make out the general contours of my hips and legs, but no one is getting an intimate glimpse of my sexual anatomy. A bystander is not getting any more of a visual treat than if I were to wear skinny jeans. (Is that still an acceptable trend?)

    Just a quick plea to the community: we are all entitled to our opinions, and so many of you express yours so wittily! But I would beg you to consider whether a trend is objectionable or not based on the principle of the matter and not the size or shape (or age) of the leggings-wearer.

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  18. I work for a yoga business so I’m pretty much immune to the horrors you so hilariously describe here. ‘Great thackets of pube’ is the funniest phrase I’ve read since your description of spectacle-free eyes as ‘naked ‘balls’. Keep up the great work; ‘Ruth tries trends’ is comedy gold!

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    • Yes yes yes! Totally agree…comedy gold!!! Ruth you are absolutely brilliant and I can’t get enough of your blog xx

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  19. Ruth – so agree although it’s rife here in Australia- seems like it’s the school drop off uniform. Thought you’d enjoy this parody about Activewear – quite old but very true! If link doesn’t work just google Activewear song…

    https://youtu.be/CYRENWT8lz8

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    • Hilarious Ruth! It’s is rife in Australia isn’t it Clare? ! I recently bought myself a pair of non-opaque leggings……for exercise. Who’d have thought? I have never understood this trend. Surely not all these people are exercising? Clearly not. And don’t get me started on the MAMILs (middle aged men in Lycra aka cyclists) in their clippity clop road bike shoes.
      Great post.

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  20. I work in an environment where I see these every day. Has some scientist invented a “pert bum” gene that I missed out on or do some leggings have added oomph in that area.? I take the lift now rather than follow them up the stairs.

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    • Some brands have started putting in extra elastic in strategic areas to lift and reshape!

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  21. A very resounding NO from me. What I want to know is where and how did the trend start anyway? Also don’t get me started on men in leggings or (AKA) MAMILs (Middle-Aged Men In Lycra)!!!!

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  22. I see many young girls/women who wear leggings as outerwear perfectly well. Some have very curvy figures and I think would find it hard to find jeans etc to fit, they look good. I think it’s an age/taste thing. If it looks good (not transparent, not bobbled) and the body encased is not lumpy, I don’t see the problem. So I wear leopard print ones with long tops, and they are the most comfortable thing ever. I find that cropped tops are even harder to pull off and I so wouldn’t but why not if the wearer looks and feels good in it? Ah yeah, one more rule for leggings, they should not be the colour of the wearer’s skin. I have been caught out few times thinking a lady was in fact NAKED…..

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  23. My job means I am sometimes working very long shifts – 3 days in a row this weekend before I get home. And all day. So long tops and leggings are worn throughout the Service because after 1 day you have decided to burn your jeans with the wicked in the fires of hell. I also think leggings as outerwear are only doable with boots and jumpers to the hip or a good shirt. It’s just a better look.

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  24. I wear them, but NEVER with exposed bottom. Only with oversized sweaters and cardigans. But they seem to become very popular, so maybe yes, it is an age thing? Or an I had kids thing?

    Anne – Linda, Libra, Loca

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  25. I hate them as anything but for exercising, or round the house. NOT outerwear. I have to add that I’m aghast at my younger colleagues thinking they are office attire acceptable as well, with high heeled boots for gawd’s sake! I keep thinking I’m just getting old but I don’t think so. For the record, I work in a professional environment, but some of the clientele are men who don’t treat women in the most appropriate ways, and these girls don’t seem to understand the free for all they are providing. I’m embarrassed for them. No love, don’t be flattered by that fellas attention, who knows what he’s done time for. It’s not funny actually, I think it’s dangerous. Enjoyed reading this though, very funny.

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    • No. No. No. They are never acceptable as office attire IMO! Horrified!

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  26. Oh my God, I laughed so hard while reading these, that I was literally crying! This is the funniest thing I’ve read in quite a while. Thank you, Ruth, for this absolutely hilarious piece.

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  27. No no no no no. I have no wish to know the waxing style on someone’s lady bits. Under a dress or long tunic is the only acceptable way when not in the gym. Slightly better choice than pajamas though.

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  28. Hi Ruth,

    I am so thankful you did this post! I get attacked whenever I bring this up but people don’t seem to realize it’s OK to have an opinion on the matter and it’s OK if you think that wearing leggings is no-no like we do. I’ve followed you for years and just adore you and your channel. Sending much love! Jennifer from The Daily Connoisseur

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  29. Ruth, I agree with Lauren, you need to write a book. I knew just by reading your posts your degree level and thought it HAD to be journalism or creative writing.
    As I sat in the dentists chair awaiting my mouth to get numb enough for a root canal, I almost peed my pants envisioning your obstacles, really losing it at “budgie smugglers”! Some of us never relish the thought of going to Walmart here in the US knowing we will see a “sea” of obese women in leggings. Husband even left the line when behind a woman who literally and with gusto, scratched her “thacket “ . Perhaps she was allergic to Lycra or had nothing in between. I do know he is traumatized. He does, however, like seeing our spin trainer, 25, in her leggings
    Keep it coming, Ruth. You are a gifted writer

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    • Thanks Betsy, that’s very kind x

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  30. It’s a thing. It’s a problem. I’ve just been to ballet class (mixed ages I’m 67) and we’re all pretty careful. All I can say is LONG TOP! Love your posts, I cry laughing.

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  31. Hilarious – made me laugh out loud. Here in fairly conservative Munich, the leggings thing is the preserve of those going to an 8am class (or pretending to, because you left it too late to do the school run and get dressed properly).

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  32. It’s a 100% no from me too. For all the reasons you said. And now we’re supposed to wear them with a blazer?!?!?!? What the hell???

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    • WHO HAS SAID THAT? Point me at them.

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  33. A year ago I thought it was only acceptable en route to yoga/gym but now I’m a fully exposed legging wearer. Going to the supermarket, walking the dog, even the village pub. Flashing all the down below bits without a care till I read this post

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    • Hahahaha!!!! Crying. Don’t let me stop you! : )

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  34. Its a No from me!! I can’t even bring myself to put out the bins late at night when only the stray dogs and foxes will catch a glimpse of my legging’ed legs (is that the word?!). Great post. More Trend Analysis please!

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  35. I was going to have a quick faff about on Instagram before making my daughter’s tea but now there’s “not a child in the house had a wash” because I’m too busy laughing at this! Love your trying a trend articles!

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  36. Love this so much!! I wonder how and why people are doing this every single day! I live in California where many of my mom friends wear leggings to school drop off regularly and I always wonder WHY WHY WHY!?!? I get if you are headed to exercise right after or I guess they are easier to pull on than jeans?! I don’t know. But why do they no longer cover the tush? I lived in leggings in the 80’s but the tush was ALWAYS covered. Not to mention the FRONT! Oh my God! People seem to think they are pants now. But they are really really really NOT. My husband has returned from drop off on more than one occasion with a stunned look on his face saying I HAVE SEEN TOO MUCH!!!!!! Oh and I really don’t think undies are in the equation for the most part…..there are no pantylines and way too much on display for there to be another layer in there. I wish I didn’t know this! MINE EYES!!!!

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    • Hahahaha, mine eyes, mine eyes.

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      • Yes where I live ( Australia) leggings have been a thing for ages now Women wear them at the gym( where they should be worn), at the supermarket, picking up the kids in fact here there and everywhere . Mostly these are young fit mothers who are called yummy mummies by the media and other trendy types. Being a more mature woman I can’t imagine wearing leggings to the shop or the restaurant or cafe. Even when I’m out walking I wear soft and cosy track pants.Even then I always make sure more private areas are covered by a longline top or a jacket tied around my waist. I find leggings on me as way way too revealing. Maybe if I was a yummy mummy I might feel more confident but I think probably not, It’s a no for me too

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  37. Wearing leggings made from a cotton (ish) t-shirt kind of fabric that get semi sheer around hip area and wrinkly around knees have to be forbidden by law! I would also add wearing those with dresses to the list of ”crimes”

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    • Yes! 100% agree wit you

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    • Except i cant wear tights, they make my feet sweat. So cotton leggings under a dress it is. Its too cold to go without in winter and I dont want to wear jeans all the time.

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  38. Another time when leggings would be a no no is when reading this post. Seeing as tena lady are an absolute requirement for fear of laughter induced leaks, that would be too much of an eyeful.
    Thank you Ruth for making me laugh so hard, you’ve made my day. I am still chuckling over the vision of you failing away in the swimming pool. Genius.

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  39. I just spilled coffee all over myself from laughing so hard while reading this. It’s a perfect way to start the day! (Whenever somethings from you pops up in my mailbox I have to read asap, I love the way you write).
    I’m from Europe, but live in California and leggins as outerwear has been a pet peeve of mine for years. I don’t even know why stores sell “real” clothes here as it appears most everyone wears leggins everywhere. Mall, drugstore, grocery store, restaurant, you name it, people of all shapes and sizes (and ages) seem to think it’s a good idea to get up in the morning and put on what looks like tights and (gasp) crop tops. I don’t get it. Every year I keep hoping people will pick up a new trend and retire their leggins, but so far no such luck. Instead the materials just get more shiny with bolder prints and more air holes (yes, air holes for lack of a better word).
    Also as someone who also goes to pilates, no, people are not wearing underwear under their leggins, at least out here a lot of them don’t, unless they have found actual invisible pants that I don’t know about .
    On that note, I need another coffee!

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  40. Lol your so funny, I have wore legging/ gym clothes for over 10 years as day wear plus a cap, which is great on bad hair days, don’t see the point in getting done up to just chill out or lazy days,I’m 53 an lucky I can still carry it off, so my grown up kids say I look much younger an trendy, just need to keep up with my beauty routines or should I say piling on every bit of skin care/ gadgets I can get my hands on lol, keep your witty sence of humour your a fresh of fresh air x

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  41. Ruth, I LOVE this! Sat in my car whiling away 5min until I can pick my children up from school…hilarious…had me in stitches. I have to admit I often wear leggings as I do quite a few classes a week (spinning, Pilates, yoga) so literally do live in them. For me it’s all about the fabric and pattern which can make or break the acceptability. I can totally understand your point of view though. Love this feature xx

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  42. Just giggled my way through reading this despite being a 21 year old girl who regularly nips to the shop in workout leggings on my way to and from the gym. Sometimes bright, tight, pink and red gym leggings (albeit thick ones that absolutely don’t show through) with a short top on… I never thought anything of it! I see women of all ages wearing tight leggings, cropped tops, short shorts etc. in the gym (and bump into half of them in ASDA round the corner afterwards) and didn’t realise leggings worn in the big wide world was A Thing. See through leggings are a no-go, that’s just common sense, but so long as they’re sufficiently thick that you can’t see knickers/genitalia through, I say why not!

    Your writing never fails to amuse me – I can only hope my modelling career is as successful as yours and writing as witty one day!

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  43. lol, your comments made me laugh. I got so tired of jeans that if they fit in the waist, the legs are all baggy,or if they fit in the legs,I have to almost lay down to zip them up.(forget going out to dinner in them-ouch) I wear nothing BUT leggings-black ones only.You add a long butt covering cute t-shirt and sneakers or sandals or a cute (longish) top,You can dress leggings up with a top and a blazer/jacket,Sometimes I add my knee high Frye boots,a tank top covered with a western style plaid shirt..lots of options. The biggest rule as my guide is to cover up the lady parts-front and back, black only,no cutouts/netting or see thru nonsense.Put together right its a comfortable easy way to go from casual to dressy and still look classy

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  44. I would never wear leggings- as-pants, however, I am somewhat confused- do you mean to say that ladies do NOT wear underwear beneath their leggings?! I just thought it was traumatic seeing ladies wearing leggings-as-pants WITH the underwear, but you’ve now potentially created a whole new level of trauma…….

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    • Oooh, I don’t know! Maybe some don’t, though unlikely… surely the seam would chafe your parts?!

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  45. I do believe , with careful adherence to community comfort regulations, people can wear leggings beyond the gym. Said regulations are: 1)No shiny material, no cut outs, no bullshit peekaboo windows with other weird fabric, no loud colors, basically black. 2) Pelvic region should be covered with long t-shirt, sweat shirt or smart oversized button down. 3) approved footwear; trainers (athletic or lifestyle) maybe flip flops on a hot day but no fucking heels of any color especially nude!!! All kidding aside, this is a real thing in the US where there are militant anti-legging activists. They tend to be middle-aged envangelical women I don’t want girls tempting their sons with their bodies, interesting company you keep…

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  46. Love, love, love this piece! I shall now endeavour to incorporate the word “thacket” into daily conversation pronto! Thanks for your spot on, hilarious observations!
    A

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    • It’s surprisingly difficult, that word..

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  47. Hilarious. You’re a very talented writer! You should write a book.

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  48. Your expression in the third photo goes so well with this post. Hilarious. I wear track pants only.

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    • I nearly died laughing at the pool story

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  49. OMG hilarious… It’s a definite NO. I only wear leggings or training shorts WITH build-in knickers.. the horror of something slipping somewhere would just keep me in the house for all eternity!

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    • What is this built-in knicker you speak of?!!!!!

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  50. Haha. I think would if I could, but I think my 35 year old post kids flesh mounds are best left covered in public.

    In my native language(Afrikaans), we call them ‘fluisterbroekies’. Translated whisper pants. You can see the lips moving, but you can’t hear what they’re saying. I will leave you with that image….

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    • Oh dear God. That is hilarious and also disturbing.

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      • I know, right!? I always imagine them saying ‘bubbles’ the whole time.

        *honoured that I could make you howl.

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  51. 100% with you. What a brilliant post! ‍♀️‍♂️

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  52. Hilarious. I’m with you Ruth, it’s a No! And I cannot believe that you never once mentioned camel-toe!!! How could you (not) !

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  53. A ‘thacket of pube’ …… literary genius x

    Reply
  54. No no no no to leggings as trousers. No squared. No cubed. No to the power of eleventy billion. But absolutely yes to more of this, Ruth Tries Another Unwearable Trend for our amusement and pleasure. There’s just so much in here to enjoy, from ‘great thackets of pube’ to ‘chlorine-scented packet’, and the mental image of you doing your funny walk across the car park. Pure joy, x

    Reply
    • Thackets is a much underused word. Haha. Thanks Cath! x

      Reply

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