Well, I was seduced again. I went on the Sézane website, saw that absolutely everything on there would almost definitely make me look like a twenty year-old Parisian sex-kitten from the seventies and then ordered a load of stuff.

It arrived, I unwrapped my haul from its très pretty paper and then immediately tried everything on. Did I look like a twenty year-old Parisian sex-kitten from the seventies?

Mais non.

Probably something to do with the fact that I am not twenty anymore and my boobs, absolutely fine though they are, do not have the sort of lush, rounded fulsomeness that can make a bog-standard cotton henley t-shirt look the most alluring garment ever created. Exhibit A:

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Sézane are simply masters of styling and French-cool clothing presentation to the point of near-sorcery. They seem to be at the very pinnacle of branding success, with their aptitude for picking just the right models and doing the hair and makeup in just the right way. The girls they use in their campaigns could make a binbag look come-hither.

(Though how they have managed to make their “Brut Sexy” jeans look good in the photos is beyond me – in real life they seem to have a shape that is completely at odds with every single part of my anatomy.)

Sézane make really very lovely things. It’s just that – for me at least – the reality of trying them on is so, so far from the fantasy I buy into when I browse the site. Because yes, the oversized shirt is gorgeous but am I really going to wear it unbuttoned to the navel (from both top and bottom) with no bra underneath?

Yes the cardigans are somehow the most seductive-looking cardigans on earth but am I going to pop to Sainsbury’s with my cardi hanging entirely off one shoulder? Or worn back to front? Will I be able to weigh my bananas on the loose items scales without losing my knitwear entirely?

Shop Sézane UK*

Anyway, hats off to them because they’ve absolutely got me hooked. I’m never not going to be lured in by photos of models with perfectly undone Sam McKnight hair looking effortlessly cool and youthful and un petit peu kittenish. Even as I type this post I have another tab open: their new season collection has just dropped today. And there are at least five items in my basket already that I know will instantly transform me into the sort of girl who never wears thermal leggings, has an inherited apartment in the 7th arrondissement and doesn’t have to unzip her jeans after lunch.

I just know they will.

Here’s a little video of what I tried on in this particular Sézane order – stay tuned for the inevitable next instalment as I am nothing if not a glutton for punishment… If you’re reading this via email subscription then the video will be at the end of the post.

I tried:

Slim Parfait Jeans in Light Blue, Size 12 – £95 here* – considering keeping, let me know what you think!

Max Shirt, Very Light Denim, Size 8. £95 here* – considering keeping once I’ve found at least three ways to wear it, not including “otherwise naked” or “with lace knickers” because they don’t count as outfits and I’d like all shirt-makers to know this.

Brut Sexy Jeans, Indigo, Size 10. £95 here* – non, non, non.

Très Cliché tee, small, £50 here* – oui oui oui! Keeping.

Milo T-Shirt, £55 here* – probably non, unless it looks dramatically better with a push-up bra on. (It’s a possibility, let’s not rule it out. I’ll update.)

Theodora T-Shirt, £60 here* – non.

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