Six Week Invisalign Update: Permanent Low-Key Crossness

Six Week Invisalign Update: Permanent Low-Key Crossness

I'm six weeks into my Invisalign treatment (read this if you need to catch up on why I'm doing it) and despite the experience being relatively drama-free, so far, I've realised this week that never in my entire life have I felt such a permanent sense of...

Life Update: My First Mammogram

Life Update: My First Mammogram

A few weeks ago I went for my first mammogram. You can tell it was my first because I made the rookie error of wearing a dress to attend it, which is why I am stood there in my trainers and pants with a dressing gown tied around my waist. This wasn’t a routine checkup...

Life Update: Lunging Into The Unknown

Life Update: Lunging Into The Unknown

I've long been trying to find a word that describes the sort of life you have as a parent to young children; something that encapsulates the feeling of utter chaos, that conveys the sense that your life is very much out of your own control - a word that sums up...

Life Update: Sister

Life Update: Sister

My four year-old has recently stopped calling his six year-old sister by her actual name and instead has taken to calling her just "sister". It's slightly unnerving and makes him sound as though he has been beamed through time from the Dark Ages, where he was the...

Life Update: Oh Sh*t, The Kid Can Read

The just-six-year-old can now read, really quite well, which means I have had to hide all of the novelty mugs with swear words on them and also stop leaving dirty messages to Mr AMR on the fridge door. (Who knew magnetic letters could be so much fun?) In all...

Life Update: The Ultimate Staycation

I had one of the best holidays of my life last week. I know what you're thinking: how has she possibly been on holiday? But it wasn't really a holiday in the traditional sense. I didn't even leave my village. And I only include my village in the geographical...

Life Update: Top Trumps, The Misery Edition

Life Update: Top Trumps, The Misery Edition

When these life updates (and indeed my children) were still in their early infancy, I regularly used to jinx myself by writing prematurely about them passing certain milestones. Not the starting walking, starting talking sorts of milestones, but the ones that make...

Life Update: Barrier Methods

Life Update: Barrier Methods

The three year-old is now suddenly four, which means that he can, by no stretch of the imagination, be considered a baby. Me miserum! No more babies. Actually, me not miserum at all, because I'm quite sure that another baby would definitely be the end of me. I love my...

Life Update: This Isn’t The Olden Days

And so here we are, thrown back into the deep pit of lockdown confusion. Each of us with a different and unique inconvenience or disaster: some have lost jobs, some are caring for the sick or elderly, many are suffering with their mental health, lots are working in...

How (Not) To Blackmail Me

How (Not) To Blackmail Me

Just wondering if anyone can help me out with this email I've just had - I've obviously managed to get myself into a bit of a pickle. Not for the first time, I should add. Every time I sift through my junk mail I'm being blackmailed for one thing or another! "In case...

Life Update: Iron (Wo)Man

Life Update: Iron (Wo)Man

Who knew so many of you waited for the third of the month with such a sense of delight and anticipation? I have say that I'm deeply flattered by the messages and emails I've had asking where an earth the monthly update has gone (I always publish on the 3rd, without...

Life Update: It’s An Omen

Life Update: It’s An Omen

A giant white moth just flew at my window as I started to type this life update, and I'm not sure what sort of omen that represents. I almost had a heart attack when its huge wings hit the glass and was forced to immediately raid my desk drawers for something edible...

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